Agoraphobia, Anxiety and Depression blog

This is slightly off topic but none the less, one that boggles my mind.  I have occasionally, both, read and heard that being gay is a lifestyle choice. That a person has to make a conscious choice. This leaves me completely befuddled.

Being straight, I have never had to make a choice over being gay or straight. I just am. Over the years I have had many friends who call themselves gay. All of them have had 2 things in common.

First, they are gay, not by choice anymore than one chooses to be straight. They are what they are. They chose to come out but not to be one or the other.

Second, they are accepting of people for what they are. Im my experience, all have been friendly, kind and loyal friends. Unlike some of my straight friends.

The reason I am posting is that I was reading one of my favorite blogs this morning and the author Alicia Sparks has posted about a study at the University of Utah. Please take a gander by clicking the link (her name).  Comments are most welcome.

This morning I had my first MAJOR anxiety attack while getting ready to drive for the first time in over a month. I was dizzy, nauseous, and my eyes would not focus.

With my Agoraphobia, I don’t get out very often. It takes advantage of me when I am down and lately that is way to often. Approximately 4 weeks ago I had surgery to debride my foot wound. Since then I have had to limit my activity outside the house. My car is a piece of junk, it needs brakes and exhaust plus the drivers seat is broken, where it connects to the floor, on the left side.

I had to stand outside the backdoor and visualize myself getting in and driving. I was sweating profusely and it’s cold and windy outside. Finally after several minutes I was able to get in. I drove once around the block and came back home. That was such a major issue and I am glad I proved to myself that I could do it. I gave myself a star for the day.

I have done hours and hours of browsing other depression/anxiety type blogs and I have only seen a couple that are written by amateurs. Most of the other blogs seem to be promoting something and written mostly for that purpose. I want to avoid that for the most part. I am not saying I can 100 percent but I will try and stay on track. Hopefully I can eventually make the blog self supporting but I would never sell out to a drug company or whatever.

This is my first ever post on this blog. I am hoping to write from a personal view. I should say right up front, that I am not very proficient at writing and or grammar. I write what I feel and my feelings never attended much school. I know people who like to be the grammar police and I figure since I am doing the writing, it’s up to me.

I am hoping this adventure or should I say venture will be multi-faceted for me. I have several goals for this blog.

1. Personal therapy.
2. A learning experience from working first hand.
3. Maybe, just maybe to let people know they aren’t alone.
4. In addition, I want people to know there is hope, I know how hopeless I feel at times.

Wish me luck, leave a comment or whatever. subscribe if you can.