Agoraphobia, Anxiety and Depression blog

Questions to ponder…

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say “See that chicken there….I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Get Doctor’s Advice First

Melinda was a 92 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Greg. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Greg’s old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become paralyzed, she called her doctor’s office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be. “On a woman,” the doctor said, “your heart would be just below your left breast.”

Later that night, Melinda was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her left knee!