This is slightly off topic but none the less, one that boggles my mind.  I have occasionally, both, read and heard that being gay is a lifestyle choice. That a person has to make a conscious choice. This leaves me completely befuddled.

Being straight, I have never had to make a choice over being gay or straight. I just am. Over the years I have had many friends who call themselves gay. All of them have had 2 things in common.

First, they are gay, not by choice anymore than one chooses to be straight. They are what they are. They chose to come out but not to be one or the other.

Second, they are accepting of people for what they are. Im my experience, all have been friendly, kind and loyal friends. Unlike some of my straight friends.

The reason I am posting is that I was reading one of my favorite blogs this morning and the author Alicia Sparks has posted about a study at the University of Utah. Please take a gander by clicking the link (her name).  Comments are most welcome.

This morning I had my first MAJOR anxiety attack while getting ready to drive for the first time in over a month. I was dizzy, nauseous, and my eyes would not focus.

With my Agoraphobia, I don’t get out very often. It takes advantage of me when I am down and lately that is way to often. Approximately 4 weeks ago I had surgery to debride my foot wound. Since then I have had to limit my activity outside the house. My car is a piece of junk, it needs brakes and exhaust plus the drivers seat is broken, where it connects to the floor, on the left side.

I had to stand outside the backdoor and visualize myself getting in and driving. I was sweating profusely and it’s cold and windy outside. Finally after several minutes I was able to get in. I drove once around the block and came back home. That was such a major issue and I am glad I proved to myself that I could do it. I gave myself a star for the day.

When my sister was born in 1969, my father went through a tough time. I don’t think postpartum depression was even a condition back in that time span. I just saw this article written by Karen Pallarito of the Chicago Tribune and encourage fathers to take a look at Dads also suffer postpartum depression, often silently.

Technorati Tags: postpartum , depression

Questions to ponder…

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say “See that chicken there….I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

People who aren’t feeling all alone can never understand what it’s like to feel it. When I first met my current talk therapist she listened to my description of what I was feeling and she used the words loneliness and hopelessness.

Check out this article I just read on loneliness.

Get Doctor’s Advice First

Melinda was a 92 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Greg. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Greg’s old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become paralyzed, she called her doctor’s office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be. “On a woman,” the doctor said, “your heart would be just below your left breast.”

Later that night, Melinda was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her left knee!

I have done hours and hours of browsing other depression/anxiety type blogs and I have only seen a couple that are written by amateurs. Most of the other blogs seem to be promoting something and written mostly for that purpose. I want to avoid that for the most part. I am not saying I can 100 percent but I will try and stay on track. Hopefully I can eventually make the blog self supporting but I would never sell out to a drug company or whatever.

This is my first ever post on this blog. I am hoping to write from a personal view. I should say right up front, that I am not very proficient at writing and or grammar. I write what I feel and my feelings never attended much school. I know people who like to be the grammar police and I figure since I am doing the writing, it’s up to me.

I am hoping this adventure or should I say venture will be multi-faceted for me. I have several goals for this blog.

1. Personal therapy.
2. A learning experience from working first hand.
3. Maybe, just maybe to let people know they aren’t alone.
4. In addition, I want people to know there is hope, I know how hopeless I feel at times.

Wish me luck, leave a comment or whatever. subscribe if you can.